There will be times God tells us “no” in the sense that He doesn’t appear to answer our prayers. At least not the way we want them answered.
That is rarely if ever going to feel comfortable or pleasant, but it does not mean God is not good, and it does not mean God does not love us. On the contrary- He loves us COMPLETELY and He ALWAYS gives us what is ultimately good for us- even if it feels unpleasant in the moment.
And yet there is something in each of us that often seeks to know “Why?” when God says “no.” This is not necessarily a bad thing- especially when it’s an honest question. However- when we do ask that question, we must understand two things:
#1- God does not owe us an explanation, and ultimately calls us to trust Him.
#2- We must never, in our effort to seek understanding, put words in God’s mouth that He never says.
Which brings me to one thing we must never say when God says “no”. It will usually go something like this:
“God hasn’t done ____________ because you don’t have enough faith.”
“My faith isn’t strong enough, and that’s why God hasn’t answered my prayers.”
*Before I go further: If you’ve made this statement, I don’t want to make you feel bad. You certainly did not say it maliciously and were not trying to be unbiblical. In fact, you probably referenced Matthew 13:58 (NIV), which says “And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.” However: we need to understand exactly what is being communicated in that passage.
In context, here’s what’s going on: Jesus shows up at his hometown, and the people He grew up with and around have heard what He’s been doing- and they took offense at Him. In other words, they did not accept Him as the Messiah, and certainly not as the Son of God. Rather, they rejected Him- and so He did not do many miracles there, not because of their little faith, but because of their lack of faith. It wasn’t that they believed in Him and were just no so sure He could heal their sick or cast our demons- it was that they rejected Him entirely. He chose not to miracles not because they didn’t have enough faith- it was because they had no faith at all.
“But!” you may say, “Look at Matthew 17:19-20!” So let’s do that in its context (v. 14-20):
14 When they came to the crowd, a man approached Jesus and knelt before him. 15 “Lord, have mercy on my son,” he said. “He has seizures and is suffering greatly. He often falls into the fire or into the water. 16 I brought him to your disciples, but they could not heal him.” 17 “You unbelieving and perverse generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me.” 18 Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of the boy, and he was healed at that moment.
19 Then the disciples came to Jesus in private and asked, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?” 20 He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move.Nothing will be impossible for you.”
At first, it may seem that the disciples could not do it because of their little faith. After all, Jesus even makes that statement.
BUT- then the very next thing He says is that faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains. And a mustard seed is EXTREMELY small!
So when you take those two together and in context, here’s where we end up:
Jesus is not emphasizing the size of our faith. He’s emphasizing the object of our faith.
The reason the disciples could not heal the boy was because their faith was, at the moment, apparently in themselves and their own ability- which is exactly zero.
Jesus ability, however, is infinite- and He alone can do the impossible- regardless of how “much” or “little” faith we have. Clearly, per the passage above, we do not need much- it just needs to be placed in the right Person, namely Jesus.
Which begs the question: if I do have faith in Jesus- even just a little bit- and He says “no”- why did He say no if all I need is a little faith?
The answer goes back to something we’ve hit on the past two weeks: Because God’s greatest plan for you is not for you to be happy, healthy, and wealthy. God’s greatest plan for you is for you to know Him, become more like Him, and reflect Him to others. And many times, this happens best when He does not say “Yes” to something we ask Him for.
It is not because He is unloving. It is not because He is not good. It is not because you or I don’t have enough faith.
It’s because- in a way that we may very well never understand- He is working something in us and through us that has a far greater eternal value than our temporary happiness.
And, quite frankly, it requires much more faith to hear God’s “No” and continue to trust Him in the middle of discomfort and difficulty than it does to keep following Him when things are great.
There are additional issues with the line of thinking that says “God said “no” because I/ you don’t have enough faith” that need to be spelled out:
#1- This is an absolutely crushing statement to someone in a fragile position- because it puts the blame entirely on them in a way that is utterly graceless and this un-Christlike.
Please hear me clearly- I’m not saying there are not times where we do not get the consequences we deserved for an action. Like if you got pulled over for going 2 miles over the speed limit and got a ticket, it was because you were over the speed limit- and that’s on you.
But to tell someone that God didn’t heal their grandma who was dying of cancer because she didn’t have enough faith or because the one who prayed didn’t have enough faith is incredibly graceless. If you’ve said that, you literally just put the burden of death on the person who prayed and said it was their fault. That is not an attitude of grace- and Jesus calls us to be gracious!
Paul writes in Colossians 4:6 (NIV) “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”
FULL of grace- seasoned with salt. Our speech should be known as grace-filled speech, and the statement “God did not do _________ because I/you don’t have enough faith” is not a grace-filled statement- it’s an attitude that looks a lot more like the Pharisees, which leads me to this…
#2- “It’s because you/I don’t have enough faith” is purely religious legalism.
Here’s what I mean by that. There’s a prevalent school of thought that runs in all of us deep down that goes something like this:
“If I keep God happy, He’ll do __________ for me.”
“If I go to church, read the Bible, and pray really hard…and give, and serve…then God will answer all my prayers the way I want.”
That is not a life of freedom. That’s a life of prison where we assume every single bad thing that happens is an act of God swatting us with a cosmic flyswatter because we skipped church one Sunday. It’s a line of thinking that leads us to cold, dead, religious activity designed to appease God enough to get Him to do what we ask.
That line of thinking teaches the way to God’s favor is OUR actions- and that’s not true.
The way to God’s favor is God’s grace alone because we have NOTHING with which to impress Him.
Put another way: we can never have “enough” faith to the point it impresses God enough to do something for us. And therefore, “not enough faith” is cannot be a reason for God not doing something because that line of thinking, at its core argues “You didn’t do enough to push God into doing something”- as if any of our actions could do that! They can’t!
#3- The line of thinking of “If I have enough faith, God will do __________” makes God my puppet, and therefore sets me up as the boss instead of God.
That’s a problem, because God is not a puppet or a vending machine into which we put in faith and get out what we want. That is grossly wrong, and is ultimately self-idolatry which puts us in control instead of God.
So why do we often run to this answer or believe it or say it?
Simply put, because it’s easy.
It’s easier to believe I don’t have enough faith than to believe that God has a purpose for my pain.
It’s easier to believe that I didn’t do enough than to wrestle through the theological mystery of how a good and loving God can leverage (NOT CAUSE- big difference) absolutely horrible things for a holy and perfect end.
It’s easier to blame someone else’s lack of faith for why God answered one prayer but not another.
That’s why- it’s easy. But it also weakens our faith because we don’t wrestle through the difficulties mentioned above.
A strong faith comes when we wrestle through the challenges and keep trusting God- even in the absence of answers. A weak faith avoids the challenges and accepts an easy answer.
*As a side note, this is why atheism becomes attractive to people who face pain, because it’s easier to say “There is no God!” then to wrestle through the difficult questions posed by a good God allowing suffering.
But since when is the easy answer the right one?
So what is the answer- and why didn’t God answer my prayer?
I do not know. In some way, it’s because- in a way probably only He understands- He wants you to know Him, become more like Him, and reflect Him to others. And in saying “No”, He knows that is the path you must travel for those things- which have ultimate eternal value, far more than our happiness on earth.
But it is certainly not because you don’t “have enough faith”. The Bible does not teach that at all.