Pastor Dillon continues our series on marriage, called “Better Than A Love Story”. This week Pastor Dillon talks how you can fuel the fire in your marriage and how to choose connection over convenience.


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Better Than a Love Story: Fuel the Fire


Falling in love is easy, but a thriving marriage requires fuel.


We began to choose convenience over connection.

Song of Songs 5:2-6 (NIV): “I slept but my heart was awake. Listen! My beloved is knocking: “Open to me, my sister, my darling, my dove, my flawless one. My head is drenched with dew, my hair with the dampness of the night.” I have taken off my robe— must I put it on again? I have washed my feet— must I soil them again? My beloved thrust his hand through the latch-opening; my heart began to pound for him. I arose to open for my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the bolt. I opened for my beloved, but my beloved had left; he was gone. My heart sank at his departure. I looked for him but did not find him. I called him but he did not answer.”

When we choose convenience over connection the result is disconnection.

And yet…

Song of Songs 7:10-12 (NIV): “I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me. Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages. Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom— there I will give you my love.”


How to fuel the fire of our marriage…



#1- Focus on how your spouse amazes you instead of how your spouse annoys you. 

Song of Songs 5:8-16 (NIV): “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you— if you find my beloved, what will you tell him? Tell him I am faint with love. How is your beloved better than others, most beautiful of women? How is your beloved better than others, that you so charge us? My beloved is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand. His head is purest gold; his hair is wavy and black as a raven. His eyes are like doves by the water streams, washed in milk, mounted like jewels. His cheeks are like beds of spice yielding perfume. His lips are like lilies dripping with myrrh. His arms are rods of gold set with topaz. His body is like polished ivory decorated with lapis lazuli. His legs are pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as its cedars. His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, this is my friend, daughters of Jerusalem.

#2- Get into your spouses world.

Song of Songs 6:1-2, 4-5a (NIV): “Where has your beloved gone, most beautiful of women? Which way did your beloved turn, that we may look for him with you? My beloved has gone down to his garden, to the beds of spices, to browse in the gardens and to gather lilies…You are as beautiful as Tirzah, my darling, as lovely as Jerusalem, as majestic as troops with banners. Turn your eyes from me; they overwhelm me.”

#3- Choose connection over convenience.

Song of Songs 7:11-12 (NIV): “Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages. Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom— there I will give you my love.”

#4- Plan your “YES”.